Kendall Jenner isn’t impervious to negative comments online.
The 23-year-old model covers Allure‘s March issue and gets real about how social media hate has affected her.
“I have cried endlessly for days because of things people have said to me, and I’ve had to become stronger through it,” she tells the magazine. “I mean, don’t get me wrong: I am not superhuman. I definitely feel, and the things people say online are very hurtful. You also just have to live your life and not pay attention to it.”
“I think it can get pretty unhealthy if you really are deep in it and paying attention to it all the time. I think that that’s what can really mess you up,” she adds.
Jenner’s biggest insecurity comes with her acne, which she’s struggled with since her teen years. People haven’t been shy about pointing out her acne on social media, something she’s had to learn to accept.
“It’s something that I look at myself in the mirror every day and see. Like, I don’t want it there, but you have to deal with what you have right in front of you, and I had to deal with it,” she says. “It was probably a once in a lifetime thing for me to go to the Golden Globes (in 2018). I don’t know if I’ll ever go again, ’cause that’s not usually my event to go to, you know? And so I went and I was super excited about it, and I’m not gonna let something so little (and big) as acne stop me.”
“I was feeling good about myself, and then when people say mean things I’m like, ‘I know I have a zit. I know I’m breaking out. You guys don’t have to keep pointing it out. I obviously see that, but let me live,'” she adds.
Even with all the criticism over her skin — something she says is “half the battle” when it comes to doing makeup — Jenner still has fun getting dolled up, pointing to her beauty looks at the People’s Choice Awards and on New Year’s Eve as some of her most recent favorites.
“I’m really into green these days… I’m just drawn to it,” she says of both beauty looks. “I don’t know what’s happening.”
Jenner, who admits that she feels her best “when my skin is glowing and I’m in my sweats watching a bomb movie with all of my friends,” often turns to self-care to drown out stress and online noise.
“Self-care is a huge thing for me. I’ve really dedicated a lot of time to it in the last two years,” she reveals. “A couple of years ago, I was working a lot — probably more than I should have, to be honest. It was really starting to mess with my mental and my physical health, and I came to the point where I was like, what am I supposed to do? I kept hearing about meditating and was skeptical about it, but decided [to] just do it. So I sat down for four days with a teacher and learned TM (Transcendental Meditation) and really dove into it, and I started to see such a difference in my mental health.”
“I do still have moments of panic attacks and anxiety, but it was really, really bad. I mean, it would wake me out of my sleep in full panic, so much so that I thought I had heart issues. I went to all these doctors ’cause I thought something was really wrong with me,” she continues. “I didn’t know what was happening. But then I figured it all out. I haven’t had one (panic attack) in at least a year. Knock on wood and I have been pretty good and pretty steady.”
Jenner credits meditation with being “such an important thing” for her, so much so that she notices a difference if she skips a couple of days.
“I know that is wrong for me, I know I need to do it,” she says. “I think that [self-care] ties into our day and age and social media. We can’t say that we all haven’t fallen victim to seeing other beautiful women online and seeing this perfect picture that everyone creates, because you do create it, by the way.”
Watch the video below for more on Jenner: