The Worst Way to Lose

Not even NOMINATED? Where's the love?

Just for that, I'm gonna phone in a blog entry during a long holiday weekend that no one will read.

I've heard a lot this week about penalty kick shootouts being "the worst way to lose." Maybe no one's corrected this because it's simply so plainly false – like how no one is saying out loud how calling the naming the biggest shopping day of the year after the 1929 stock market crash is pretty much the death throes of capitalism.*

But, since I got my master's degree in the obvious, let's just put the "penalty kick shootouts are the worst way to lose" thing to bed. Tomorrow, I take on the theory that the sun is really cold.

First of all – it's not the worst way to lose, because technically it's not a loss at all. It's the worst way to TIE, sure. You don't lose, but the other guys get the trophy and the rings and the girls and the fame and the modeling contracts and…okay, the other guys get the trophy and the rings. It's not the optimum outcome.

But we're talking about losing, here. It never feels good, unless you're the 1919 Black Sox. Ricky Hatton and Miguel Cotto can argue about the most painful way to lose, but the Galaxy have no case. You'd rather be Wigan Athletic?

Fine, so it's the longest, most drawn-out way not to win. And then there's the oh-so-close factor. But there are lots of ways to lose closely and have it hurt. Ask Bayern Munich, or the Los Angeles Galaxy, when they bungled a four goal lead in the 2003 playoffs. (Only now, in retrospect, do I realize how golden goal saved the Galaxy that night. If they had played a full half hour of extra time, the Quakes would have won 15-4 on aggregate instead of only 5-4.)

Worst way to lose? Come on. It didn't even rain!

Actually, Seattle is a nice place for a game, especially since the weather gods still love Don Garber. And Sounders fans were terrific hosts. So they booed the Galaxy. Booing LA is in the municipal code. They don't agree with Salt Lake City, Portland, Denver and San Francisco about much, but LA teams are definitely a topic they share views on.**

Wow, this was a bad post. I apologize. But this is a funny picture. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed it.

*Note to my foreign readers – just kidding, I don't have any foreign readers. Do people in England shop like sugar-pumped jackanapes the day after Guy Fawkes? Is there a Day of Shopping after the Day of the Dead in Mexico?

**How did the locals feel about each MLS Cup?

1996: Over the disappointment on the drive home
1997: Delirious
1998: Disgusted
1999: Despondent
2000: Bored witless
2001: Kinda happy
2002: Inconsolable
2003: Sickened
2004: Annoyed
2005: Heartbroken
2006: REALLY heartbroken
2007: Distracted
2008: Tolerant
2009: Pretty happy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *