Hi. Me again. I read this morning that you were, well, a tiny bit frosted at that thing me and a few thousand of my closest friends told you last night.
And I couldn't help notice you decided to fight fire with gasoline:
Wait…sorry, that's not what you said, was it?
No, Brian. I've never captained the US national team to a 5-0 defeat against Mexico. I've never helped revive our worst enemy at their lowest point. I've never worn the armband during one of the most gutless, heartless, abject performances in the history of the program.
I'm sorry for your loss in this time of your greatest heartbreak, but render unto me a ********ing break. Brian, exactly what is it that you think you do for a living?
I don't even know where to start with this – well, yes, I do. The Zenger defense. Don't get mad at me, Brian. Get mad at Bob Bradley. You've had over a week to figure out your position with the United States National Team, and not a single Galaxy or Red Bulls fan had anything to do with that decision. If people tell lies about you, that's their problem. If people tell the truth about you, whose responsibility is that?
So it wasn't tactful.
And I can't even begin to unpack that, either. You went to Harrison and Carson looking for politeness? You're on the center circle, trying to make something of your post-international career, your team is in a free fall like the whale in "Hitch-Hiker's Guide," the whistle's about to blow, and your thoughts are "Gee, I hope they're nice to me tonight"?
David Beckham, your thoughts?
When Taylor Twellman was dropped in 2006 to make room for some empty jersey that ended up playing no minutes while Brian McBride was getting the hell beat out of him in a 4-5-1, you know what he did? He set about proving Bruce Arena wrong. He helped his team win.
And what did you do last night? You put a big freaking target on your back. "Opposition fan chants get to me" is not the message you want to send. If you think the "Oh, how COULD they" nonsense I've been reading today is going to slow down other supporters groups – well, you'd think I wouldn't have to tell this to someone who has accomplished so much in the game.
Maybe this is completely baffling to some, but as a fan, I'd prefer my team win, and the other ********ers lose. Preferably by a score of, I dunno, 4-1 or something.
Look, Brian, I realize you're in an unusual position as the very first player ever to be dropped from a national team. But crying about opposition fan chants won't help – what?
Yes, I know. You wanted to play in the World Cup, and now you might not. That's never happened to anyone before. There there.
Sure, we would have cheered you if Bob Bradley thought you were up to the task of performing better than Robbie ********ing Findley. But he didn't, so we won't. As the French say, life's a bitch.
However, before you ask us all to hum "American the Beautiful" while weeping longingly into our King Kamehameha state quarters, why don't you look in the mirror, and ask yourself how quickly those tears will dry up if Altidore can't go.
Thanks – I'm glad we've had this time together.
Dan the Fan
(By the way, is it okay for Galaxy and Red Bulls fans who don't support the US to boo Ching? I mean, as long as we're passing rules now. We weren't going to stop at "Only Dynamo fans get to boo opposing players," were we?)