When God closes a door, he opens a transfer window

Topic one – I'm officially going to start the Edson Buddle Single Season Goalscoring Record Watch. You read how Bill feels about Valderrama's assist record? That's how I feel about Roy Lassiter's goalscoring record.

"But, Dan, there's no statistical shenanigans involved at all. Roy really scored those goals."

Yes, but you see, the quality of defenses in the inaugural year was SHUT UP I'M NOT LISTENING

Anyway, with last night's goal, Edson sits at 13. In order to pass Lassiter, Buddle would need to score…15. In ten games, because it's a shorter season.

What? He hasn't had his hat trick yet, you know.

Okay, well, so much for the Edson Buddle Single Season Goalscoring Record Watch.

Wow, I was hoping this would be a McGwire/Sosa/Bonds-Maris thing, except without the steroids.


The Red Bulls-Galaxy game was fantastic to watch. I'm pretty sure New York fans feel that the refereeing corps were diehard Galaxy fans who had money on the game – you'd have thought that Omar Gonzalez was the Designated Player, and not Angel and Henry, the way some of those calls went.

Angel spent some time complaining about offside calls that were made correctly – but seemingly each time, the offside was frustratingly fractional. Pretend I made another plea for daylight offside here, and pretend I had a good response to "If the AR was making the calls correctly, why change the rule?" Because offside traps are boring to watch, and yesterday turned a great game into a good one.

This was the best Galaxy performance since they jobbed out of the Open Cup – and this is why you take every competition you enter seriously, because losing and crashing out of tournaments can become a habit. Since losing to Seattle to bungle the Open Cup campaign, the Galaxy have won thrice. Once against DC United, which shouldn't even count. Once against Puerto Rico, which ended up being an aggregate blowout. And last night in New York.

I'll tell you what I think happened. The Galaxy will almost certainly fail to ruin their team with another overpriced, badly-considered Designated Player on the downslope faster than Picabo Street. Thus, the team that had been playing well can continue to play well, with at least one distraction not going to happen.

Which still leaves the question of whether Landon will leave, and whether Beckham will ruin the Galaxy's season by rushing back too soon. The first seems unlikely, the latter seems inevitable. The Galaxy have a depressingly hilarious history of starting Beckham when hurt, and it seems like Team Beckham and Team Galaxy have learned nothing. If Beckham and the Galaxy are particularly stupid about it, they could botch both the MLS Cup playoffs and the Supporters Shield.

Which, by the way, is more than a three team race. Los Angeles, Columbus and Salt Lake are a given. New York probably still thinks they can make a run, depending on how long it takes for Henry and Marquez to get into 90 minute shape. Chicago has four games in hand, and if they win them all, they're in the thick of it. Of course, if Chivas USA wins eleven in a row, they make the playoffs, as long as we're fantasizing.

But the real dark horse is a white bull, FC Dallas. Sure, that ten game unbeaten streak is a little misleading – the most impressive result was the home win over the Royals. (Or the draw against Inter.) But they're gotten the results they're supposed to and have looked good doing it. Do we owe Hyndman an apology for thinking he was in over his head in MLS? And yes, I mean we. As in, the whole world.

Speaking of Chivas USA, did I already marvel how Kansas City could sign Omar Bravo as a DP ahead of Chivas USA?

Because…how does CUSA not make that happen? The whole point of the franchise is to be Chivas de Guadalajara de Los Angeles. It's as if when Kobe Bryant decides to play in Italy, and he turns down the Milan Lakers.

Maybe Kansas City outbid Chivas USA…which raises a whole bunch of other questions, none of them with good answers from the CUSA point of view. Jorge Vergara just built a big new stadium for the Guadalajara team…but OnGoal built a stadium, too (admittedly, nowhere near as grandiose), and doesn't Vergara and Omnilife have more money than OnGoal anyway?

Maybe Chivas USA simply thought that their squad was set already. Sure, provided they've been printing the standings upside down all season.

Maybe Alan Gordon's unreasonable salary demands took up the transfer budget.

Or, maybe Chivas USA was a stupid idea for a franchise in the first place, and we're seeing the inevitable result of rich, vain men making bad decisions. Chivas USA used to be the Taco Bell of MLS. Now it's the Terri Schiavo.

How will Omar Bravo do for Kansas City? Well, he will need 53 goals and 28 assists in order to be the most productive Bravo in league history, although Paul set the bar fairly high.

Meanwhile, San Jose announces that it's writing off the 2010 season.

Well, no, they've announced they're actively looking for a Designated Player.

Well, they do, they're called transfer windows, one of which just slammed shut. Unless they're going to make a historic signing of a big name who is out of contract or (better still) released on a free.

I'm surprised it's taking this long, considering the money Lew Wolff lavishes on his baseball team to make sure they stay competitive. (Both BigSoccer Oakland A's fans just facepalmed. Long way to go for a joke two people would get, maybe? Meh.)

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